Healing from domestic violence through garden growth
Originally published by Portland Press Herald. Download printable PDF here.
On Sept. 11, survivors spoke about the healing power of flowers, from anemones in late fall to rhubarb stalks bursting through winter soil.
On Sept. 11, Coastal Maine Botanical Gardens in Boothbay offered free admission to attendees of a Finding Our Voices presentation on domestic abuse.
Visitors were encouraged to arrive early to explore the wooded trails, the native butterfly house and the Vayo Meditation Garden where they could see the white and liherelac anemones swaying in the breeze.
After two short movies, a panel discussion delved into topics about emotional, financial and sexual abuse; what to do if you suspect a loved one is in an unhealthy partnership; the impact domestic violence has on children; and the restorative power of flowers.
A moringa tree and fresh herbs sprout from a pair of old rain boots near Cleaver Lawn at Coastal Maine Botanical Gardens. Laura Sitterly / The Times Record
Katie Hey, marketing director at Coastal Maine Botanical Gardens, said the organization generally does not host events for outside groups but makes exceptions for causes that align with its mission of connecting people to nature.
“Finding Our Voices is not only an important nonprofit doing impactful work across our state, but this particular event uplifts members of our local community,” Hey said. “We are proud to provide a restful and nurturing venue for these often difficult conversations.”
The experts themselves, the survivors, led the conversation: Hannah Marden-Johnson, a Lincoln County high school teacher and college access counselor; Camden business owner Christine Buckley; retired second-grade teacher Mary Lou Smith from Scarborough; Rockport Harbor Hotel manager Sarah McLean; and Rickey Celentano of Camden, who spoke as a mother of a domestic abuse victim.
While each story varied, one constant remained true: each woman credited much of her healing journey to the garden. They measured time by counting the number of leaves on a seedling or by noticing the growth of a rhubarb stalk peeking through winter soil.
“I thought I was alone,” said Finding Our Voices founder Patrisha McLean. “But that wasn’t the case.”
Finding Our Voices began as a multimedia exhibit at the Camden Public Library on Valentine’s Day in 2019. It featured portraits of 14 female domestic violence survivors willing to share their stories, some of whom were the first to support McLean after her ex-husband’s arrest.
After the group toured venues like the Holocaust and Human Rights Center of Maine, it attracted attention across New England, getting requests for shows in Boston and New Hampshire. However, the momentum came to a stop during the COVID-19 pandemic.
“I was concerned,” McLean said. “I knew domestic abuse would be exacerbated by financial stress and close contact during shutdown. So we kept the exhibit going — we made the portraits into posters and placed them in business windows for women who got a quick break to go to the grocery store or pharmacy to see.”
Since becoming an official nonprofit in 2021, the group has expanded to include 45 survivors, including Gov. Janet Mills.
The Get Out Stay Out Fund, designed to support women fleeing domestic abuse, disperses approximately $12,000 monthly. The funds are allocated for legal fees, home security deposits, car payments, school supplies and animal care. Recently, the group teamed up with 30 dentists statewide to offer survivors free dental care.
The women meet weekly online for “sisters in support” sessions and conduct outreach through posters and public events; the Boothbay event was part of the 2024 “Let’s Talk About It” tour.
On Wednesday, McLean noted there’s something for everyone to learn, even those who aren’t survivors or currently experiencing domestic abuse themselves but who have loved ones who might be or encounter it in the future. Hence why the panel was held in an open-air venue.
“These skills will come in handy and shouldn’t be a secret,” she said.
The healing power of nature
A vine lays above the Lerner Garden of the Five Senses, in arm’s reach. Laura Sitterly / The Times Record
Celentano was the first family member of a survivor to speak at a Finding Our Voices event. As a retired psychotherapist and licensed clinical worker, she understands domestic abuse from a personal and professional perspective.
She first got involved during last year’s Finding Our Voices Healing Together Through Memoir Writing Retreat, where she acted as a support system for anyone struggling to write about their journey.
The first posters for Finding Our Voices were hung in Camden at the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic. Patrisha McLean photo
On Sept. 11, Coastal Maine Botanical Gardens in Boothbay offered free admission to attendees of a Finding Our Voices presentation on domestic abuse.
Visitors were encouraged to arrive early to explore the wooded trails, the native butterfly house and the Vayo Meditation Garden where they could see the white and lilac anemones swaying in the breeze.
After two short movies, a panel discussion delved into topics about emotional, financial and sexual abuse; what to do if you suspect a loved one is in an unhealthy partnership; the impact domestic violence has on children; and the restorative power of flowers.
Katie Hey, marketing director at Coastal Maine Botanical Gardens, said the organization generally does not host events for outside groups but makes exceptions for causes that align with its mission of connecting people to nature.
“Finding Our Voices is not only an important nonprofit doing impactful work across our state, but this particular event uplifts members of our local community,” Hey said. “We are proud to provide a restful and nurturing venue for these often difficult conversations.”
The experts themselves, the survivors, led the conversation: Hannah Marden-Johnson, a Lincoln County high school teacher and college access counselor; Camden business owner Christine Buckley; retired second-grade teacher Mary Lou Smith from Scarborough; Rockport Harbor Hotel manager Sarah McLean; and Rickey Celentano of Camden, who spoke as a mother of a domestic abuse victim.
While each story varied, one constant remained true: each woman credited much of her healing journey to the garden. They measured time by counting the number of leaves on a seedling or by noticing the growth of a rhubarb stalk peeking through winter soil.
“I thought I was alone,” said Finding Our Voices founder Patrisha McLean. “But that wasn’t the case.”
Finding Our Voices began as a multimedia exhibit at the Camden Public Library on Valentine’s Day in 2019. It featured portraits of 14 female domestic violence survivors willing to share their stories, some of whom were the first to support McLean after her ex-husband’s arrest.
After the group toured venues like the Holocaust and Human Rights Center of Maine, it attracted attention across New England, getting requests for shows in Boston and New Hampshire. However, the momentum came to a stop during the COVID-19 pandemic.
“I was concerned,” McLean said. “I knew domestic abuse would be exacerbated by financial stress and close contact during shutdown. So we kept the exhibit going — we made the portraits into posters and placed them in business windows for women who got a quick break to go to the grocery store or pharmacy to see.”
Since becoming an official nonprofit in 2021, the group has expanded to include 45 survivors, including Gov. Janet Mills.
The Get Out Stay Out Fund, designed to support women fleeing domestic abuse, disperses approximately $12,000 monthly. The funds are allocated for legal fees, home security deposits, car payments, school supplies and animal care. Recently, the group teamed up with 30 dentists statewide to offer survivors free dental care.
The women meet weekly online for “sisters in support” sessions and conduct outreach through posters and public events; the Boothbay event was part of the 2024 “Let’s Talk About It” tour.
On Wednesday, McLean noted there’s something for everyone to learn, even those who aren’t survivors or currently experiencing domestic abuse themselves but who have loved ones who might be or encounter it in the future. Hence why the panel was held in an open-air venue.
“These skills will come in handy and shouldn’t be a secret,” she said.
Getting to the root of it all
Finding Our Voices’ work also pokes at the state justice system.
“If a woman dares to call 911, the perpetrator is often arrested, spends a night in jail, then gets released — enraged about the whole ordeal leading to a worse incident the next night,” McLean said.
The group’s primary concern is that the resources they offer serve only as a bandage, neglecting the root of the problem.
Celentano agreed. Working closely with the Maine Department of Corrections in her profession, she said she found it scandalous that those found guilty on several counts of abuse are met with a slap on the wrist when “it requires extensive counseling to change repeat behavior.”
Next week, the group will hold a public viewing of “It Ends With Us,” a 2024 film that shocked the silver screens with scenes depicting love-bombing and emotional abuse.
“I welcome every effort our culture makes to start the conversation,” McLean said. “But I’d like to see things not oversimplified; let’s talk about the impact domestic abuse has on children, or for those who feel they can’t join in because they’ve never been hit — the physical manifestations of stress (headaches, grinding teach, impacts in utero).”
To buy tickets for the 2 p.m. matinee on Sept. 15 at Harbor Theater, visit boothbaycinema.org.
If you are someone who has experienced or is experiencing domestic violence, there are several resources available for you to seek help when you are ready. You can call the Maine Domestic Abuse Helpline at 1-866-834-HELP. If you are deaf or hard of hearing, you can call 1-800-437-1220. More information and resources are also available at mcedv.org. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 and in many languages at 1-800-799-SAFE or by texting START at 88788.