Maegan

 Update—May 2020

The biggest reason I decided to speak out with Patrisha Mclean’s Project was because of my two daughters. It is also the reason I finally had enough courage to leave the abusive relationship we were in. When you see what the abuse is doing to your children it is hard to ignore what is really going on. When my children were just babies, I could easily dismiss the abusive behavior occurring around them. I would tell myself he is just stressed out from work things will get better. One day I had my three-year-old sitting next to me on the couch and I was holding my one year old in my lap, their father threw a full beer at my face and the remote control at us as I tried to get away. I was bleeding all over my children and they could have been hurt badly. As they got older their witnessing of the abuse was not only disruptive to them emotionally, but it reached a point of no return when my youngest got hurt when she was trying to protect me. I needed to protect them so at that moment I called the police for the first time and we began our pilgrimage to leave. As my daughters have gotten older it has been a joy to have just the three of us living in safety and since we have left, I have always tried to role model positive behavior for them. In talking and speaking out with Patrisha it allowed me to show my young daughters that they too can speak up and out about anything they need to address that could be difficult for them or their friends.

Speaking out in “Finding Our Voices” has given me so much strength to stand up to the abuse and the stigma that resides along with it. It has given me my voice back! Before I met Patrisha and joined her project I felt like my voice had disappeared entirely. The years of abuse had taken their toll. In being involved with the other survivors it gave me a renewed sense of worth and strength. Since starting the project, I have been involved in returning to college and plan to graduate next year. My plans are to go on and receive my master’s degree. I have learned from the other survivors that I too can accomplish things that before I thought I would never do. For years I was told I was stupid and worthless and after that you start to believe it and then it becomes your truth. I have finally broken out of that internal dialogue that ruled my life and have a new dialogue in my mind that encourages me to communicate with others and share my experiences. After living in a shelter for two years me and my daughters have bought our new home and are residing in a town that has welcomed and embraced us. My daughters are flourishing in their new environment and my oldest daughter in looking forward to a school trip to Spain next year. Our lives have totally turned around since leaving the abuse and in joining Patrisha in speaking out against abuse. We are truly happy, and I hope to share that message with other women so they too can find their true happiness.

—Maegan, May 2020